Ha Huy Anh Pham
Daria Oprean
Pham:
"Speaking more broadly, I can observe that the vietnamese people outside my family judge a lot more compared to germans. Whether it be about their own family (ie. telling your son that a toy is girly and shaming him for owning feminine things) or about strangers (ie. gossiping, or criticizing someone for doing what they love, just because it doesn't fit their own world view). This is even more evident online, where people judge upon seeing a picture, without knowing the full context and situation. I'm aware that having an opinion and expressing it is fully understandable and is integral to a healthy democracy, but doing so unbiased is simply unacceptable.
"Speaking more broadly, I can observe that the vietnamese people outside my family judge a lot more compared to germans. Whether it be about their own family (ie. telling your son that a toy is girly and shaming him for owning feminine things) or about strangers (ie. gossiping, or criticizing someone for doing what they love, just because it doesn't fit their own world view). This is even more evident online, where people judge upon seeing a picture, without knowing the full context and situation. I'm aware that having an opinion and expressing it is fully understandable and is integral to a healthy democracy, but doing so unbiased is simply unacceptable.
Now back to the value of "gender". To me, a straight person living in a society too closed to show or even mention the word "gay", the word doesn't carry much weight. Though I've come to understand how important this issue is to some with the help of an education in Germany. In my university in Germany, they pay a lot of respect to the topic of LGBTQ, and even in the smallest detail this respect can be seen: forms on questionnaires having more than just two options for gender or the use of gender-neutral language in all materials provided by lecturers.
In contrast, in my homeland the issue isn't pressed at all. Although not a crime, homosexuality or non-binary are still seen as socially unacceptable. The subject itself is never discussed by the media. In society a non-binary person would often be looked down upon. Others would call them having the "gay illness" or "suffering under bisexuality". Having been judged and shamed for my action and identity in the past, I can totally sympathize with the LGBTQ community.
Originally, before the invasion of the chinese, the vietnamese people were primarily a matriarchal society. Women were rulers and were on top of the hierarchy. Women were also great soldiers, having risen up and ridden elephants to drive away the chinese intruders (at least that's how the story goes). But after Vietnam became a tributary of China, we slowly got more and more patriarchal. Nowadays men are traditionally considered to be decision makers and breadmakers of the family. Although this prejudice still exists in our society today, it only shows itself explicitly in the countryside. Some examples are: in the men always sit on the table while women and children have to sit on the ground; women have to wait for the men to start eating before they themselves; household chores are still considered to be mainly for the female sex.
So that's it for me. I hope you didn't sleep while reading. I look forward to seeing your perspective on "gender". Which experiences do you have with this subject? Did your father give you a good insight into the subject? How do people react to non-binary people in Romania? Which role do the different genders play? What is considered feminine and masculine in your country? How do you feel about the traditional views of this issue?"
In contrast, in my homeland the issue isn't pressed at all. Although not a crime, homosexuality or non-binary are still seen as socially unacceptable. The subject itself is never discussed by the media. In society a non-binary person would often be looked down upon. Others would call them having the "gay illness" or "suffering under bisexuality". Having been judged and shamed for my action and identity in the past, I can totally sympathize with the LGBTQ community.
Originally, before the invasion of the chinese, the vietnamese people were primarily a matriarchal society. Women were rulers and were on top of the hierarchy. Women were also great soldiers, having risen up and ridden elephants to drive away the chinese intruders (at least that's how the story goes). But after Vietnam became a tributary of China, we slowly got more and more patriarchal. Nowadays men are traditionally considered to be decision makers and breadmakers of the family. Although this prejudice still exists in our society today, it only shows itself explicitly in the countryside. Some examples are: in the men always sit on the table while women and children have to sit on the ground; women have to wait for the men to start eating before they themselves; household chores are still considered to be mainly for the female sex.
So that's it for me. I hope you didn't sleep while reading. I look forward to seeing your perspective on "gender". Which experiences do you have with this subject? Did your father give you a good insight into the subject? How do people react to non-binary people in Romania? Which role do the different genders play? What is considered feminine and masculine in your country? How do you feel about the traditional views of this issue?"
Daria:
"I never knew Vietnam used to be a matriarchal society. I think it's interesting to see and landscape how drastically a culture can change because of politics. In Romania it is kind of the same, but the Church is the main political Pawn. Since the church owns 50% of the land in Romania, any law that goes against their ideologies and power will not be passed. One of the only gay marriage referendums only happened because the media was trying to distract the population away from one of the biggest corruption lawsuits involving the President of the Romanian Chamber of Deputies.
Growing up we never really knew what homosexuality was, it wasn't a subject that was discussed. But then moving to Norway I was faced with information that wasn't accessible in Romania like gender studies, inclusion, human rights, so I came back home with a whole different view. They saw homosexuality as a "disease coming from the west", and even when the Pope at Vatican stated that he believes in gay rights and that we can love anyone we want, Patriarch Daniel of Romania, stated that the Pope himself is infected with these "disease".
This sickness (as if it can be cured) has been a reoccurring theme. When my father "came out" as gay, our whole family judged him for losing his faith, his father did not allow him to enter his house, my sister didn't talk to him in a year, nobody knew how to handle the situation. The first time we told our grandmother she had no idea what we were talking about. The concept didn't exist in her mind because she was protected from it. My father still doesn't accept himself. Or maybe he does, but he carries this guilt of all his family, of "God", of his children. It took time for us to understand that he went through a huge identity change in a world that didn't accept him. And I know he was probably always like this, but due to the guilt that I feel as well, I don't want to think about it.
All in all, it is not something that is accepted. If you don't accept making jokes about being a "pussy" and being gay, that means you don't have a sense of humour, you're supposed to clean and make babies until your biological clock runs out as a woman. It's hard to evolve when half of the population doesn't have access to education. Romania just hit the world record for the youngest grandma, a girl who is 23 had a baby when she was 12 and her daughter had a baby at 11 in a roma community with their specific rituals. Even sexual education showed their traditional way of thinking. They world bring everyone into a room, tell us to not have sex because we WILL get pregnant, and then they made a random girl put a condom on a banana (again no responsibility from the male side), they took out the boys from the room end explained separately to the girls what periods are, and what tampons exist (there is no talk about other methods of contraception and their side effects and benefits). So basically we were taught from day one that sex is for men, girls should be frightened of it and God will judge you anyway.
I'm sorry about the rant, it is a sensitive subject to me as I have seen so many examples suppressing their sexuality due to the oppressive environment they are in. The subject is so broad i couldn't even cover 5% of it.
"I never knew Vietnam used to be a matriarchal society. I think it's interesting to see and landscape how drastically a culture can change because of politics. In Romania it is kind of the same, but the Church is the main political Pawn. Since the church owns 50% of the land in Romania, any law that goes against their ideologies and power will not be passed. One of the only gay marriage referendums only happened because the media was trying to distract the population away from one of the biggest corruption lawsuits involving the President of the Romanian Chamber of Deputies.
Growing up we never really knew what homosexuality was, it wasn't a subject that was discussed. But then moving to Norway I was faced with information that wasn't accessible in Romania like gender studies, inclusion, human rights, so I came back home with a whole different view. They saw homosexuality as a "disease coming from the west", and even when the Pope at Vatican stated that he believes in gay rights and that we can love anyone we want, Patriarch Daniel of Romania, stated that the Pope himself is infected with these "disease".
This sickness (as if it can be cured) has been a reoccurring theme. When my father "came out" as gay, our whole family judged him for losing his faith, his father did not allow him to enter his house, my sister didn't talk to him in a year, nobody knew how to handle the situation. The first time we told our grandmother she had no idea what we were talking about. The concept didn't exist in her mind because she was protected from it. My father still doesn't accept himself. Or maybe he does, but he carries this guilt of all his family, of "God", of his children. It took time for us to understand that he went through a huge identity change in a world that didn't accept him. And I know he was probably always like this, but due to the guilt that I feel as well, I don't want to think about it.
All in all, it is not something that is accepted. If you don't accept making jokes about being a "pussy" and being gay, that means you don't have a sense of humour, you're supposed to clean and make babies until your biological clock runs out as a woman. It's hard to evolve when half of the population doesn't have access to education. Romania just hit the world record for the youngest grandma, a girl who is 23 had a baby when she was 12 and her daughter had a baby at 11 in a roma community with their specific rituals. Even sexual education showed their traditional way of thinking. They world bring everyone into a room, tell us to not have sex because we WILL get pregnant, and then they made a random girl put a condom on a banana (again no responsibility from the male side), they took out the boys from the room end explained separately to the girls what periods are, and what tampons exist (there is no talk about other methods of contraception and their side effects and benefits). So basically we were taught from day one that sex is for men, girls should be frightened of it and God will judge you anyway.
I'm sorry about the rant, it is a sensitive subject to me as I have seen so many examples suppressing their sexuality due to the oppressive environment they are in. The subject is so broad i couldn't even cover 5% of it.