Cao Nguyen Huy Hoang
Sarah Kirchner
Hoang:
"Like all connections, I guess the hard part about it is to grow without growing apart. Since life is forever pushing and pulling on each of us, it is certain that intimacy is at risk.
But this implies that intimacy is a result of distance. Do you think that intimacy then can be expressed more through emotional distance? Like how married couples can be with each other everyyet they grow apart still. Or how some can wait for their lovers years on end and able to persuade oneself against all uncertainty that their intimacy is real, and that it still exist.
As you grow apart, can you really readjust to your past intimacy? Maybe we can actually practice intimacy, where it is a principle, where boundaries and tested and tried, powers conflicted and resolved, and bodies touching without contact - contacting without touch.
Some would even go further still to define intimacy as the basis of love, and I think that applies to many relationships. It's like the gatekeeper of love, while as the same time its mistress-pardon the heteronormative metaphor but to me this best express intimacy's sensuality.
Personally, I have been rather a shy when it come to intimacy. I'm rather a recluse and I don't have many close friends so I have a thick barrier when it comes to being intimate, even with my girlfriend. Also each time I experience intimacy I feel a sense of guilt also, as I'm afraid I may have put too much, too little, or too promising intimacy. There are some fears, akin to what you describe, that bar me from giving in to being intimate as to the fragility and dangers of losing it. You freezer metaphor really drive the point home for me.
I think Im gonna keep thinking about the modes with which intimacy act as a reflection of love and distance."
But this implies that intimacy is a result of distance. Do you think that intimacy then can be expressed more through emotional distance? Like how married couples can be with each other everyyet they grow apart still. Or how some can wait for their lovers years on end and able to persuade oneself against all uncertainty that their intimacy is real, and that it still exist.
As you grow apart, can you really readjust to your past intimacy? Maybe we can actually practice intimacy, where it is a principle, where boundaries and tested and tried, powers conflicted and resolved, and bodies touching without contact - contacting without touch.
Some would even go further still to define intimacy as the basis of love, and I think that applies to many relationships. It's like the gatekeeper of love, while as the same time its mistress-pardon the heteronormative metaphor but to me this best express intimacy's sensuality.
Personally, I have been rather a shy when it come to intimacy. I'm rather a recluse and I don't have many close friends so I have a thick barrier when it comes to being intimate, even with my girlfriend. Also each time I experience intimacy I feel a sense of guilt also, as I'm afraid I may have put too much, too little, or too promising intimacy. There are some fears, akin to what you describe, that bar me from giving in to being intimate as to the fragility and dangers of losing it. You freezer metaphor really drive the point home for me.
I think Im gonna keep thinking about the modes with which intimacy act as a reflection of love and distance."
Sarah:
"This weeks topic hits home for me. I am thinking a lot about Intimacy these days and how much I need it or don´t need it.
My girlfriend and me are back to being in a long-distance relationship after living together for three months, so I am really experiencing the two complete opposite ends of physical and emotional intimacy.
How do you stay close together if you are fare apart?
It feels like every time someone leaves you wrap up your relationship in a protective layer of cling film and place it in the freezer in order to preserve it.
From time to time you open the freezer and check if the bundle is still intact.
When the day comes you take it out, unwrap it, place it in a warm spot and watch it defrost hoping for it to not have suffered any damage.
Intimacy in those times is something you can only reflect on or experience theoretically. You know that you are close because of past experiences and future predictions.
But what if you can only speculate instead of predict because the circumstances are so uncertain?
Is it wrong wanting to experience intimacy also in the present-day?
I don´t have answers to these questions yet."
"This weeks topic hits home for me. I am thinking a lot about Intimacy these days and how much I need it or don´t need it.
My girlfriend and me are back to being in a long-distance relationship after living together for three months, so I am really experiencing the two complete opposite ends of physical and emotional intimacy.
How do you stay close together if you are fare apart?
It feels like every time someone leaves you wrap up your relationship in a protective layer of cling film and place it in the freezer in order to preserve it.
From time to time you open the freezer and check if the bundle is still intact.
When the day comes you take it out, unwrap it, place it in a warm spot and watch it defrost hoping for it to not have suffered any damage.
Intimacy in those times is something you can only reflect on or experience theoretically. You know that you are close because of past experiences and future predictions.
But what if you can only speculate instead of predict because the circumstances are so uncertain?
Is it wrong wanting to experience intimacy also in the present-day?
I don´t have answers to these questions yet."
"You said that life is forever pushing and pulling at us and therefore intimacy is at risk. I really feel like you have to fight against these forces that want to drive us further apart. Not just in romantic relationships but in a bigger societal context. We are living in a increasingly polarized world where there is less and less room for understanding and human connection.
While keeping intimacy alive requires effort and commitment, Intimacy can also come so effortlessly.
When my girlfriend and me met on a Purim Party in Jerusalem Intimacy came natural. There was a emotional intimacy to our physical intimacy. We were strangers but I have never felt closer to someone before.
For me emotional intimacy is more difficult to reach than physical intimacy. My girlfriend is the only one who I can truly be emotionally intimate with - where I can let go completely
I also feel that in my generation. Physical intimacy comes before emotional intimacy. We all have our walls up with guards shielding them."
While keeping intimacy alive requires effort and commitment, Intimacy can also come so effortlessly.
When my girlfriend and me met on a Purim Party in Jerusalem Intimacy came natural. There was a emotional intimacy to our physical intimacy. We were strangers but I have never felt closer to someone before.
For me emotional intimacy is more difficult to reach than physical intimacy. My girlfriend is the only one who I can truly be emotionally intimate with - where I can let go completely
I also feel that in my generation. Physical intimacy comes before emotional intimacy. We all have our walls up with guards shielding them."