Ha Huy Anh Pham
Daria Oprean
Pham:
"I still remember your telling me about your personal photo project with a prostitute and her child. Just the picture of her embracing her child would be, in my mind, a great example of intimacy, so I think you've already got an easy pass for this week's assignment. Talking about prostitution, something really interesting came into my mind a few days ago. Sorry for being overly philosophical and metaphysical and analyzing this shit too much, but here I go. Imagine the act of prostitution. It's something commonly known as very intimate, but to both parties involved, there's no personal connection or feelings entangled with the action, even though they physically can't possibly be closer to each other. So comes my idea, that you separate intimacy into two parts, one of the mind and one of the body. Most photos I've seen concerning this value have been physically intimate, where two or more people are in contact or in a skin-to-skin kind of way (no word for it haha). What if we somehow try to capture the same idea, but more in a spiritual kind of way, completely lacking the bodily or fleshly part of it. Like how a couple in a long distance relationship would communicate or satisfy each other's sexual needs, or how a widow casts their mind back to the time they had with their departed spouse. Such would be such a delicate and subtle, yet powerful way to encapsulate the meanings and implications within the word "intimacy". So what do you think about this?"
"I still remember your telling me about your personal photo project with a prostitute and her child. Just the picture of her embracing her child would be, in my mind, a great example of intimacy, so I think you've already got an easy pass for this week's assignment. Talking about prostitution, something really interesting came into my mind a few days ago. Sorry for being overly philosophical and metaphysical and analyzing this shit too much, but here I go. Imagine the act of prostitution. It's something commonly known as very intimate, but to both parties involved, there's no personal connection or feelings entangled with the action, even though they physically can't possibly be closer to each other. So comes my idea, that you separate intimacy into two parts, one of the mind and one of the body. Most photos I've seen concerning this value have been physically intimate, where two or more people are in contact or in a skin-to-skin kind of way (no word for it haha). What if we somehow try to capture the same idea, but more in a spiritual kind of way, completely lacking the bodily or fleshly part of it. Like how a couple in a long distance relationship would communicate or satisfy each other's sexual needs, or how a widow casts their mind back to the time they had with their departed spouse. Such would be such a delicate and subtle, yet powerful way to encapsulate the meanings and implications within the word "intimacy". So what do you think about this?"
Daria:
"I can understand by what you between the split between the body and mind. However, I don't believe physical intimacy could exist without the mind present. Let's take the example of the prostitute. I see it as a complete dissociation from her mind when she is with a client. You're not present, it's a job, and I think you get in that mindset. And then again, she could maybe only touch her baby's father's chest or hand, and a bigger sense of closeness can exist. Same with your example of long-distance relationships, right? To fulfill your need of being close to the one you love, you have to try and find other ways to make it palpable. Whether it's a 5 hour phone call, a ritual of telling each other what you had to eat, sending nudes, or looking at pictures, you do it knowing it is for someone in mind. And this mind has a great power. I. never really understood those people who would fall asleep with others talking on the phone, until I realized it's a form of intimacy that's created. You stay connected. It's also like being so comfortable with someone that you can be silent with them, and you can enjoy that silence.
Think about times like now when the pandemic has forced us all to find alternate ways of connecting. I always had my mother and sister, or my friends to rely on for those brief moments of intimacy, that would recharge me with love, and then I could go out and face the world again. That's kind of what I wanted my picture for this assignment to incorporate as well. I already told you about how after my parent's divorce, my mother accepted we smoke a cigarette together for the first time. And ever since then, that's our ritual. Whenever me, my sister or my mother have a bad day, or our morning coffee, or an argument, everything would end with the small little question of "Do you want to go out for a cigarette?" It was our remedy, our moment of closeness, whether we talked for hours, or we simply sat in silence.
I believe that the pandemic also made miss that. I don't lack intimacy, I live with the person I love, I talk to my friends, but I do miss that cigarette with my family, or with strangers. Remember when you told me about the safety of strangers? I think that intimacy is also found there. In asking questions, finding out small quirks of people, if you dare to look. When a person is comfortable and vulnerable around you. It's the same when taking a picture of someone. Intimacy isn't only found in the vulnerability that the subject has being in front of the powerful machine, but also in the way they see themselves in the picture. Whenever I show someone a portrait, or someone takes one of me, there always seems to be a small sense of surprise or confusion. You're faced with an image of yourself you don't normally see, and after all you are the person you see the least in your own lifetime. And there's a kind of intimacy created within yourself, like an image from the past looking up at you. After all, we have photography to thank for even the fact that we can share images, and people can see us and we can reflect and hold memories until our death or.. until we become just another family member our future great great grandchildren won't remember the name of."
"I can understand by what you between the split between the body and mind. However, I don't believe physical intimacy could exist without the mind present. Let's take the example of the prostitute. I see it as a complete dissociation from her mind when she is with a client. You're not present, it's a job, and I think you get in that mindset. And then again, she could maybe only touch her baby's father's chest or hand, and a bigger sense of closeness can exist. Same with your example of long-distance relationships, right? To fulfill your need of being close to the one you love, you have to try and find other ways to make it palpable. Whether it's a 5 hour phone call, a ritual of telling each other what you had to eat, sending nudes, or looking at pictures, you do it knowing it is for someone in mind. And this mind has a great power. I. never really understood those people who would fall asleep with others talking on the phone, until I realized it's a form of intimacy that's created. You stay connected. It's also like being so comfortable with someone that you can be silent with them, and you can enjoy that silence.
Think about times like now when the pandemic has forced us all to find alternate ways of connecting. I always had my mother and sister, or my friends to rely on for those brief moments of intimacy, that would recharge me with love, and then I could go out and face the world again. That's kind of what I wanted my picture for this assignment to incorporate as well. I already told you about how after my parent's divorce, my mother accepted we smoke a cigarette together for the first time. And ever since then, that's our ritual. Whenever me, my sister or my mother have a bad day, or our morning coffee, or an argument, everything would end with the small little question of "Do you want to go out for a cigarette?" It was our remedy, our moment of closeness, whether we talked for hours, or we simply sat in silence.
I believe that the pandemic also made miss that. I don't lack intimacy, I live with the person I love, I talk to my friends, but I do miss that cigarette with my family, or with strangers. Remember when you told me about the safety of strangers? I think that intimacy is also found there. In asking questions, finding out small quirks of people, if you dare to look. When a person is comfortable and vulnerable around you. It's the same when taking a picture of someone. Intimacy isn't only found in the vulnerability that the subject has being in front of the powerful machine, but also in the way they see themselves in the picture. Whenever I show someone a portrait, or someone takes one of me, there always seems to be a small sense of surprise or confusion. You're faced with an image of yourself you don't normally see, and after all you are the person you see the least in your own lifetime. And there's a kind of intimacy created within yourself, like an image from the past looking up at you. After all, we have photography to thank for even the fact that we can share images, and people can see us and we can reflect and hold memories until our death or.. until we become just another family member our future great great grandchildren won't remember the name of."